I was front row in the Gold Circle (aka “Spice Circle”) to witness the Spice Girls kick off their SPICE WORLD 2019 Tour in Dublin, Ireland.

The concert was incredible, to say the least. From the first song of “Spice Up Your Life” to the last “Wannabe,” Scary, Sporty, Ginger and Baby were on their A game. They haven’t lost any of their Spice Powers since 1996. I even choked up during “Viva Forever” and “Mama.” I would’ve mocosa cried if I hadn’t glued on some fake lashes.

Now lemme tell you why the concert was OFF THE FUCKING CHAIN…

The Energy: 82,500+ attended the concert! And the atmosphere at Croke Park was boozy and buzzing. I downed two Guinness beers within the first hour while Jess Glynn, the opening act performed. Everyone was drinking beer and having lots of craic (means “fun” in Irish). The Irish are a good ass time, Sláinte! (cheers!) Also, sidenote—there’s a LOT of eye candy in Dublin. Mad hot guys. Like cool haircuts with shaved sides and hair on top and monotone color palettes like denim, dark blues and green, black and nice boots or sneakers. Lots of sexy facial hair and tatts too. Irish women also are very fashionable to the point where almost every young woman I saw looked like they had their own Instagram fashion/ makeup/ hair/ lifestyle account. The makeup was on point like they worked at Sephora, their hair was blown out, and the shoes, the everything! I’m following and double tapping!!

So anyway, like I was saying before I got sidetracked on a horny tangent, the energy… The concert had people of all ages: millennials who grew up with the Spice Girls, Baby Boomer moms and their young children and even some old timers. There were a lot of guys too! I’d estimate that 30-40% in attendance were dudes. Even Geri said, “I see a lot of queens here” and we know she meant women fans, but she was also referring to their big gay male fan base. The night before the concert, I had gone to a Spice Girls drag show at The George, which is Dublin’s Stonewall and staple in the gay nightlife scene there. Mujer, the drag performances were lit AF. The splits, the acrobatics, they even had two fans blowing, one on each side of the stage, to create a cunty wind-in-you-wig effect the whole time. Yas, gurl, yas!! They even played Spice World the movie right before the drag show.

If you haven’t seen this absurdly genius and outright hilarious comedy, then go watch it stat after reading this. Spice World is streaming nowhere (I can’t for the life of me understand why because it’s brilliant), but I found it on a non-legal streaming site. SO many good actors too. Alan Cumming, Roger Moore, Meatloaf (played their Spice World double decker bus driver!) and even cameos by Elton John, Dominic West (McNulty from The Wire), Hugh Laurie (guy who plays House) and Bob Hoskins. Oh, and aliens trying to score tickets to their sold out concert. WATCH IT. And thank me later.

The Spice! Well duh, but this show felt like our girls never stopped performing together. The dancing and the music was phenomenal. They rehearsed for 2 months and their hard work paid off. They looked so natural, confident and owned that stage! “WELCOME TO SPICE WORLD!” Mel B shouted after their opening number of “Spice Up Your Life” and we all lost our minds. Also, the opening of “Spice Up Your Life” wasn’t chaotic or intense sounding like the original song. A piano played the opening beats of the song and it sounded soooo good. Check out videos on the IG account Spice Girls to hear it.

Oh, and each Spice Girl had five dancers who belonged to their respective Haus. And haus as in, you know, like a vogue ballroom type haus. Haus of Sporty, Haus of Scary, Haus of Ginger and Haus of Baby dancers must also be paid their applause because they made the show too. The dancers were also cayute as hell.

The Fashion, The Lewks: Tell me what you want, what you really, really want…but make it fashion. The Girls started the concert looking like what Geri described as, “a princess, a cheetah, a queen and a superhero.” Baby was dressed in a pink dress and bedazzled heels, Geri was decked out in a red, blue and gold embroidered exquisite dress made for the queen she is, Scary was wearing a snatched, skin tight cheetah print pant suit that was also bedazzled and shimmered. Scary’s pant suit had a sexy mesh, low plunge cleavage part that made me want to throw my sensible, full coverage panties on stage and scream, “SCARY, TAKE ME NOW!!!” Seriously, I would let her dom me any day. I would shine her Buffalo Boot platforms and let her slap me silly. I’d revel in her laughing at my pain with her signature cackle. “Yes, another please!” Ok, I digress…where was I?

Oh yes, Sporty’s lewk. Mel C came out looking like a superhero in tight, bright blue sequined pants and a crop top and elbow sleeves. And she had a great hair piece, a laid ass, long ponytail with a bright blue streak in it. She was rocking the high, long ponytail from the “Say You’ll Be There” video. And yo, Sporty looked maddddd good. I have the biggest crush on her now. I only ever had a crush on Scary before Friday, but now, I’m also a Sporty thirst bucket. And a bitch is parched-ah!! She is in such great shape! She is so fit and looked freakin’ amazing in her outfits! Her skin glowed! She must be on that glass skin Korean skincare regimen cuz her skin looked zig-a-zig-ooowww. OkurrrrT, Mel C! I see you, gurl. I see you loud and clear (lowers spectacles, makes duck lips).

And the dancers also complemented the Spice Girls’ fashion. The show started with a Haus of Ginger dancer coming out in some British soldier red, blue and gold type jacket followed by other dancers from each Haus who walked fierce and cunty style onto the semi-circle stage strip. Haus of Scary dancers rocked cheetah print ensembles because, duh. And Haus of Baby wore pink because, duh and one wore a furry pink coat, and another hot guy dancer wore baby pink latex pants during one number which caused me to die with envy and admiration. The Haus of Sporty dancers wore similar costumes to Mel C with lots of blue and black. All dancers and the Spice Girls wore lots of glitz and sequins and crystals that shimmered like the diamonds they are <333333

Other lewks they slayed: for “Viva Forever” they wore these long looking Grecian goddess type, chiffon dresses with slits on the sides. Scary’s dress even got blown up by the Irish wind and I got an up and close look at her booty. What did I do to deserve this gift from the Spice Gods?! I’ll probably see this glance of Scary’s culo before I die and my life flashes before my eyes. When this happened, Scary laughed and patted her dress down. I giggled too. I was in Spice Heaven. Ahhhh, dreamy sigh.

For “Viva Forever,” the dancers were also in pastel purples and pink costumes, and looked very avante garde, like abstract flowers.

For the song, “Holler” they wore black latex outfits and Geri looked very dominatrix (whip sound!). I wish Geri still had her naughty persona from the 90’s, but she’s calmed down a ton and lives in the English countryside now with her boo and young tots. She is really thin and even said in an interview once that she lost her boobs after kids and that this is what her natural boobs look like post kids aka she never got plastic surgery. It’s no secret/mad obvi that Mel B and Victoria had boob jobs. All the same, all five Spice Girls look beautiful in their forties as they did in their twenties.

Geri told the crowd of 82.5K fans at Croke Park that she was up the night before and wondered: “What will they think when we come out looking like a princess, cheetah, queen and superhero?” Gurl, we stan for you, is that even a real question? If you ever watch any Spice Girl documentaries and specials (I have watched them all), Geri is always the one who seems the most self-conscious. The British tabloids weren’t very kind to her. She said they called her “Pudgy Spice” (so fucked up). Some have said she has tried to shed her playgirl image since Spice Mania. When she talked about Spice World the movie in specials, she said she wasn’t happy with her performance (she described her film performance as “crap,” to which I totes disagree), but that Victoria was great and funny in it (she really was, Vicky had me rolling). I think a lot of Geri’s insecurity & doubt comes from the fact that she left the band when they were at their peak. She peaced out less than two years after they exploded onto the scene with “Wannabe.” I’m sure she’s had to deal with that life changing decision and gone to lots of therapy because of it. Which brings me to my next reason why the concert was everything…

Sisterhood & Forgiveness: When the band was about to sing “Goodbye,” the Spice Girls talked about when Geri left the band. And the crowd started to bemoan and “boo.” Lmao.

Here’s how it played out:

Scary: Geri, you quit the band on my birthday!

Geri: I was just giving you a birthday present.

Scary: Best present of my entire life!

(Crowd cheers)

Sporty: 82 thousand people just booed you… but there was a silver lining because we wrote a beautiful song about it.

Geri: It’s about, we say goodbye to the bad times together and then we move on together. Here it goes…

(Crowd ugly cries)

The Spice Girls are like sisters. And like family, you go through ups and downs. They even drove this sentiment home when they performed Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family.” And they came back together and brought down the house with their reunion tour. And trust, when Geri bounced, the four other Spice Girls were CRUSHED. In an interview, Mel C said that she couldn’t get out of bed the day after Geri quit the band. And it wasn’t because of professional reasons (they were scheduled to go on their first world tour a few days later without Geri). She couldn’t get out of bed because they had lost a best friend, a sister. And that HURT. Fans were also hurt. And mad.

Was I mad when Geri left the band? Fuck yeah. 12 year-old me was so sad!! In June 1998, a month after Geri exited, I performed as Sporty Spice in my school talent show. Three of my friends and I performed “Wannabe.” Since there was only four of us, one of the Spice Girls got left out. Guess which one? Ginger Spice, that traitor! We killed that performance. I high kicked at the end and body rolled in the middle of the song for the “slam your body down and whine it all around” part. My principal told my parents, “I have never seen that side of Maria before” because I was the school nerd, student council president and valedictorian.

The Spice Girls had unleashed my budding sexuality and expression. I was feeling and loving Girl Power. I even got a cute Puerto Rican boyfriend out of that performance too! Some cute 12-year old boy with abs who was wearing an unbuttoned baseball jersey and jorts and went to another school. He was feelin ya girl after that talented performance. The Spice Girls gave me so much confidence, my three friends and I had such fun prepping for the talent show and we felt on top of the world on that auditorium stage. Girl Power, I learned that afternoon in 1998 at PS64Q was well, powerful af. That was my first bad bitch moment that I ever had with my girlfriends. Thank you for that, Spice Girls. I felt like I was part of the band. And after all, aren’t we all Spice Girls?

Even Mel C said during a video they played on the big screens at the concert (paraphrased):

“Thank you all for making a normal person like me feel special. And that’s what I think the Spice Girls is about. Making every person feel special.”

Ugh, tears. Even typing this right now, I’m choking on tears. Every Spice Girl fan who grew up listening to them knows what I’m feeling. It wasn’t ever just about the music although all their hit songs are fire. It’s about how they made you feel. Like you were unique, unstoppable and unapologetically part of something bigger and beautiful with your friends.

And when Geri left, the band was never the same. You need all Spice Girls to make it work. The five were bigger than the sum of their parts. Together, they were stronger than apart and each played a necessary role (ahem, reminds me of intersectional feminism). Unlike other girl groups, there was no one star in the Spice Girls. Each Girl played an equal and essential role. I love each one of them so much, and miss Posh. Her outfits would’ve have been fuegoooo.

Lastly, Girl Power: I know the Spice Girls have since said that their iconic ‘Girl Power’ anthem is more like ‘People Power’ now. But ‘Girl Power’ is where it started and what they were shouting at the concert while throwing up peace signs.

Mel B once beautifully defined ‘Girl Power’ in their “Giving You Everything” 1997 documentary as:

“‘Girl Power’ for me was being a supportive, honest woman to another woman. You get your mind straight so there’s no bitchiness, there’s no jealousy, there’s no dishonesty and you learn how to support other women, encourage them and just be there as a real person.”

I love this definition because it is feminist and for me, means being there for other women without consideration of the male gaze. These five women were on the dole aka welfare while training and writing their songs. They left the man who auditioned them and brought them together as a band. Then the five women scored a deal on their own with Virgin Records. They even sent a limo full of five blow up dolls of themselves to the Virgin Records office and went on a cruise with another record label to let Virgin know the type of bishes they were dealing wit. Later that day they signed with Virgin but their stunt let Virgin know that they, the Spice Girls, ran the fuckin show. They even later fired their manager, Simon Fuller, and went out on their own. They were only loyal to their shared dream and left each man whom they thought stood in their way. They were genuinely themselves and had a blast while conquering the world. Basically, they did whatever tf they wanted and whatever made them happy. And in the process, they made the world happy :D

They achieved world domination as best friends and during the concert, we were all reminded why they won our hearts 20+ years ago. Yes, they are oozing with star power and charm, and Mel C’s voice is butter. I loved how they hugged a lot during the show and are never afraid to show affection to each other. I loved the hugs between Mel B and Geri in particular LOL and no, they were mum about Scary & Ginger 2 Becoming 1 for a night back in the 90’s. Geri has denied Mel B’s claims that they hooked up. Mel B claimed this during a Piers Morgan interview a couple months ago. However, Spice Girl fans have the receipts from when Geri told Howard Stern in 2003 that she had had sex with a “famous woman” one time, but then realized she wasn’t a lesbian. Gurl, it happened. You and Mel B had a single, passionate night. It’s fiiiiiine. Why deny? Scary and Geri sitting in a tree. S-C-I-S-S-O-R-I-N-G…

Anyway, Girl Power was in full effect and I felt it vibrating from the fans too. Everyone was having a blast, singing all the words to every song, doing the dance moves to “Stop” and just all around basking in nostalgia. Except, the Spice Girls are more than 90’s nostalgia. They’re timeless.

When the concert was done, everyone wanted more! We didn’t want it to end :’( They danced off the stage and Scary came back out, laughed and then ran off stage and out of view. But not out of our hearts. Never that.

What’s next for the Spice Girls? Will Posh join them at their last concert at Wembley Stadium? Will they get that rumored Las Vegas residency? Will they tour in the US next? Will they re-release Spice World for its 25th year anniversary in 2022?

I sure hope so.

Random tidbits from the concert:

• Mel B exclaimed at one point: “I’m allowed to be racist. I’m black!” LOLOL she was saying something about ypipo. I love that bish. (But srsly, POC can’t be racist, only prejudiced. Racism is a system structured to benefit one race over another. So, POC can’t ever be racist bc the system of racism doesn’t benefit them. Ypipo don’t systematically suffer from racism.)

• Mel B is the crowd favorite and most beloved Spice Girl, I’d argue. So many people have told me Scary is their favorite. Scary Spice also got the most uproarious cheers when a video intro of each Spice Girl played on the Big Screen minutes before our Girls appeared on stage.

• During “Mama” the ticker screen on stage showed childhood photos of each Spice Girl. So adorable.

• Sound issues — yes, there were some mic issues. Mel B even griped about it a lil in her IG story later that night while in bed. I was sad that I missed Geri rapping in Spanish during “If You Can’t Dance.” Geri speaks Spanish! Her grandmother is Spanish, so that makes her a quarter Spanish? Olé!

• Some soccer basic dudes started chanting, “Olé, Olé, Olé, Olé!” in the Gold Circle section I was in. To which the Spice Girls were like, “What song are they singing?” And raised their eyebrows like, umm what? Exactly. What the fuck. No. They shut it down nicely and that’s reason 172766555559304 why I love them.

• There were mad fireworks! And rainbow confetti that shot up and covered the crowd at one point! I STAN.

The concert was worth the $300 I spent to be front row. The Spice Girls exceeded all my expectations. This won’t be the last time I shell out well spent dinero to see them. I am a Spice Girl lover, forever and always.

GIRL POWER, BITCHES!